


Old Shatterhand's sin

by Kniga



Category: MAY Karl - Works, Winnetou - Karl May
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-04 17:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10995648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kniga/pseuds/Kniga
Summary: Thank you Zeta for translation into English!





	1. First chapter

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Zeta for translation into English!

**Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind, because it is an abomination.**

The young man closed the book furiously, and slammed it against the bed. He leaned forward and drove one hand in his hair.   
„I didn’t exactly want to read this…“ he whispered into the silence. He had a splitting headache, he was trying to cope with the new events for several days, but his effort was in vain…The pictures of dying Kleki-Petra were constantly being replaced with the hateful face of Rattler, or with the images of boozed engineers and woodsmen. And then, as a contrast to this human trash, he has always seen the noble face of the young Apache. He reached for the Bible, seeking peace and solace in the words of God, and he had to open the book exactly on a place which reminded him of his own sin.

He was living in peace, wonderful peace…, after he got off the ship on the American shore. Peace, finally. He could begin anew. Anew! Nobody here knew who he truly was – a felon, a criminal, a pervert…No one! He could start all over again, with a clean shield, which would be simply impossible at home, back in the good old Germany!   
He was struggling through life as possible, and when he got a position of a private teacher, he felt happy. Several times he was planning to write a letter home, telling his parents that he finally teaches, even if only two children in a rich family. But he is a teacher, after all! He fulfilled what was planned for him…He was putting away cent by a cent, so that one day – after he returns home – he could come to his fatigued parents at the end of their lives, and compensate them for all the suffering he had caused them. All of a sudden, what an awesome thing happened! The salary of a surveyor…When he was signing the contract, he had the dollars already exchanged to golden coins in his mind. His dream of returning home was getting closer. He imagined himself entering the house of his parents, his father getting up from the weaving loom, his mother turning her gaze from the stove, while he is placing one gold coin after another on the table…

And later there came the weeks outside, in the prairie, in the astonishing nature, not yet devastated by mankind, but in this beauty there was a group of men of such a disgusting behavior and repulsive appearance, that he stayed completely calm, he was not attracted to anyone of this rabble, he did not have to deal with this unpleasant part of his personality. And he was happy and grateful for it. Not enough? Or why has the temptation returned and the devil poked out his horns again?  
The wrongfulness of the death of such an interesting man as Kleki Petra has struck the young man more than he was willing to admit. How much their conversation gave to him! He could not have talked with anyone so honestly, since he had walked out the gate of the prison. He felt that if he had more time, he would probably confide to this man even more than he ever confided to the priest Kocht. And Kleki Petra opened his heart to him in return. It was an amazing conversation with a man, who was also fighting the inner demons, the sin, the fate. Just like the young man did himself.

And Winnetou? Why is the God tempting him again, was not he tempted enough already? Why is he still seeing the graceful movements of the Indian in his dreams? Why is he remembering his charming face, his splendid black hair and his velvety eyes? Why? Why is he waking up aroused and…it was worse than ever before. Naturally, from time to time he met a man who had attracted him, allured him. Such as the stoker, a colleague with whom he was tossing coal into the furnace that propelled the steamboat taking him here, to the New world. And also there were others…But he always managed to control himself, he suppressed the longing, the twisted lust. Just like the priest Kocht advised him. The priest’s words arose in his mind:  
„Why do you think I am here? Why do you think I became a priest in a prison? Every day I have in front of my eyes the place where I will end up, if I succumb. And at the same time I am not tempted unnecessarily. Here the altar servers recruit from the robbers or the murderers, simply from the adult men. I do not have to fight the temptation when they are changing into the gowns in the vestry. I do not know if I would be strong enough, having to witness every day, before every mass…Believe what I’m telling you. Avoid even the thoughts! You may say to yourself – I can dream, it will not hurt anyone. It will! It will hurt you! Feed the desire for the sin, and your lust will grow! I am talking from my own experience! You have to suppress this side of your personality and you mustn’t succumb to the devil inside of you, just like I do it. It is the only way which can bring you peace, which leads to salvation!”

And so he tried not to think, not to desire, not to dream. Sometimes it was easier, sometimes more difficult, but never impossible. Until now. Vinnetou kept entering his dreams all the time, just a moment of inattention was enough, and his thoughts immediately turned to the Indian. His longing was strong like never before, perhaps only the desire for Carpio had been similar.  
„O my god, god…Carpio… No! Stop these thoughts! They do not lead to anything good! Will you never learn?” he asked himself desperately. He tried to distract his thoughts some other way. 

Grizzly, the giant bear! And he killed it on his own, alone, only with a knife! If someone had predicted this to him a year ago, he would not have believed it. He would not have considered it possible. Could someone sensible fight such a beast only with a knife? But a man proposes and God disposes. He regretted not being able to save Howard, yet at the same time he could not deny a feeling of pride he felt for himself. And he was also pleased with the praise he got from the others, especially with the admiration he read in the eyes and the words of the young Apache… 

He clenched his fists. Again his thoughts are wandering in a place where they should not be at all.  
„What should I do?“ he sighed.  
Quickly measure the last section under the protection of the Kiowas, and then hurry back to the East, back to the civilization. And after that? Return home, visit the parents, and then what? Which direction is his life supposed to go? He didn’t know…

Why only Intschu-Tschuna did not allow him to leave with them together? His request was based upon an immediate, thoughtless decision, but he felt it would have been right. He could fulfill the promise he gave to the dying compatriot. He could discover something, even when he was not exactly sure what it should be, but he was convinced it would be worth trying. Suddenly he felt chills down his back, he shuddered. Would it be worth losing the second chance God gave him? Did not he ask for permission to join the Indians and did not he promise to Kleki-Petra to protect the Apaches only because of his concupiscence? He did not know the Apaches, he did not know anything about them, yet he immediately offered to go with them! Where would it lead to? Where? Would it end up the same way it did the first time, when he turn away from God because of Carpio? Or would he perhaps control himself and tame his desire, after all such a noble person as Vinnetou seemed to be, would not indulge in something so perverted. But how can he be sure? How can he be sure that the demons, which had already destroyed his life once, will not rise up again? And they did not destroy only his life! The only security was in faith, only God could protect him.

He fell on his knees.

„Our father, who art in heaven….“


	2. 2. Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeta big thank you! For translation!  
>  Here is the second chapter!  
> Enjoy it!  
> If it's wrong, write to me! Criticism is fine!  
> Thanks

„There will be a good opportunity near the river“ Intschu-Tschuna declared. He did not have to explain to his son what for. They have already exchanged a few words about the planned course of action when they were making the slide for the body of Kleki-Petra. Now there was no need to talk about it any further.

While the chieftain spurred the horse on through the middle of the river, down with the current, Vinnetou with the slide continued straight across the ford. He did not even look back at his father. He knew that they were going to meet soon, and then they would swoop down on the perfidious pale faces like the vultures on their prey. They will avenge the death of the innocent, and they will punish the thieves!

The horses trotted through the prairie tenaciously. Vinnetou was holding the rein of his teacher’s horse in his left hand. It was getting dark, but he did not intend to take a break. He wanted to keep going for the whole night, he didn’t have time to rest and he didn’t feel like it anyway. His soul was empty, just like his mind. He concentrated only on one thing – to fulfill his sad assignment safely, and as soon as possible.

The tension in him released with the last beams of the sunshine, a few teardrops slid down his cheek, but he wiped them with the back of his hand immediately. Nobody was around, but he did not want to admit the weakness even to himself. He pressed his lips together. He could not understand himself, he felt sadness, yes, but he also felt anger. Both would make sense, but only if the sadness was related to the death of Kleki-Petra, and the anger concerned his murderers. This, however, was not exactly the truth. And it confused the young Apache. How can he be angry at his beloved teacher, and why his heart aches when he remembers the young pale face? If his feelings were the opposite, he would understand them completely. His teacher has meant so much to him, yet the only thought that came to his mind now, were the last words of the dying man. The words in an unknown language, destined to an unknown person! And that irritated him!

Iltschi snorted and Vinnetou instantly retreated from his thoughts. He released the reins, jumped off the horse, seized his rifle, and in the dim light of the stars and the moon he tried to find the cause of his black horse’s unease.

He spotted a shadow behind a nearby shrub. Probably a coyote! A growl was heard! Vinnetou picked up a stone from the ground, and he threw it into the bush. Right after that, he aimed his weapon! Most of the coyotes would have scarped a long time ago. This one did not though, and so it could have been expected that it was rabid, and it would attack soon. It happened so. The stone landed in the thicket, and the beast darted out. One jump, another one…A bang of a shot, the coyote stopped, and collapsed onto the ground immediately. Vinnetou slowly walked towards the carcass. It was a cloudless night, with almost a full moon, and so he clearly saw the snout of the animal, covered with strands of slaver.

The young Apache was gazing at the animal, and one of the first quarrels between Kleki-Petra and the medicine man of the tribe came back on his mind. They were also standing around a corpse of a coyote back then. The white man demanded to burn the carcass immediately. The red man called for a ritual. The whole village gathered around them. Kleki-Petra was trying to convince the Indians that the coyote was sick, and so it should not be touched. Otherwise there is a danger of contagion. The shaman contradicted, saying it was necessary to appease the evil spirit, or it would posses someone else. After the successful ritual, the carrion will not be hazardous anymore.

In the end the discussion almost resulted in expelling the white man. Intsu-Tsuna stuck up for him back in the day, and so that he could stay on the border of the village. Nevertheless it took several months until he regained the confidence of the tribe. During these times, when he was living at the outskirts of the village, only silently tolerated, Vinnetou started to visit him. 

At that time he did not really know why, perhaps he wanted to find some answers to the questions that kept buzzing in his head. The questions, that neither his father, nor the medicine man were able to answer satisfyingly. And so his natural inquisitiveness had led him into the hut of the white man. Already after the first few visits Vinnetou was completely enraptured with the world that begun to unfold in front of him. Kleki-Petra has become his greatest teacher. In the eyes of the young Indian he even surpassed Tatellah-Satah! For Tatellah-Satah had the answers to everything related to the nature and the Great spirit, but he did not know the writing of the whites! He did not know where the whites are hunting for the iron steeds, he had no idea how is it possible that a pipe with a piece of glass can move the view of a meadow across the river closer. The foreigner from a country far away had all these answers! And so day by day, letter by letter, syllable after syllable and word by word Vinnetou was learning to read, and he came to know new and unbelievable things. And the foreigner, a white man, was becoming one of the Apaches more and more, every day, until from a weird pale face he became a teacher, a friend and a father. He won the heart of everybody in the tribe, maybe except the medicine man, but even he did not deny Kleki-Petra the right for a place at the council fire, among the wisest elders. He was one of them! But at the end of his life, in the last moments before his death, he suddenly was just a stranger again. Why?

An arrow of wrath flew through the soul of the young chieftain, yanking him out from the memories. He had to keep going, he had to fulfill his duty. He did not have time neither to appease the evil spirit, nor to burn the carcass. 

He jumped up on his horse and he set off again, through the night. He strenuously tried to stop thinking of Kleki-Petra, the times for memories and grief will come come only after chastising his murderer, and punishing the thieves of the land. His anger and his sadness had merged together, and the face of the young white man emerged in front of his eyes, replacing the thoughts of the dead teacher.

He also will be punished. He will be killed for his deeds and for the deeds of his companions, especially for the crime of the one named Rattler! He will be punished because the last words of Kleki-Petra belonged to him and not to Vinnetou!

Again a tear was sliding down the sun tanned cheek of the Indian. He yearned for revenge, yet he could not prevent the feeling of a great loss, whenever he remembered the greenhorn, who had fought a grizzly bear so bravely.

After seeing his face for the first time, he felt like he knew him already. Like if he knew him very well, actually. Vinnetou did not see the usual contempt and rejection in his blue eyes. His face was sincere, his smile was amiable. All of a sudden Vinnetou longed for the proximity of this man!

Maybe if they have met under different conditions, in a different situation…If the young white man would not have belonged to the group of the thieves of the land…if that boozed scoundrel would not have murdered Kleki-Petra…perhaps Vinnetou and this young man could have become friends, just like he made friends with Old Firehand. Maybe the young foreigner could become an Apache!

How did this occurred to him? And why? The white man actually wanted to joined them, Vinnetou vaguely remembered his words, his plea for being allowed to go with them, and Intschu-Tschuna’s sharp, disapproving answer. His father even spat on that man! Vinnetou himself was deeply shocked in that moment, he barely perceived his surroundings. Just now he realized what was happening immediately after the death of the Apache teacher!

„Why?“ he silently whispered towards the stars. If Intschu-Tschuna did not rejected the young pale face, they could be riding to the village together now, Vinnetou could make friends with him, he could find out what the last words of dying Kleki-Petra meant, he could…But all that was lost now! He could not be angry at his father, nevertheless he regretted that this affront happened. Such an offense the chieftain made, could only be avenged with blood! There was no coming back. The young pale face was an enemy. When they meet the next time, there will be a mortal combat. It will be a time for the revenge…

**Ecclesiastes 3:08  
 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Zeta for translation into English!


End file.
